last for always

May 7, 2014

we are back

I'm doing this.

I want to do this for real.

No, I really mean it Avery.

I'm going to start sitting down and writing out what is really going on in my life. I want to remember what is happening now. I want to save the craziness of this time. A time in my life that I think I won't remember very well when it is over. And I really want to do this for me.

I need to learn to be more present in our life. I have an amazing life that I am extremely lucky for. I have two beautiful kids, a husband who really loves me and a job that I love going to. Along with a whole bunch of other great things like my family and friends. I am too caught in in the mess around the house and the lacks in our life that I need to learn to let go more. So I figure if I write down our memories and chaos maybe I can learn to enjoy and laugh at it more. Even if I can't always do that in the present, at least when I look back I know I will laugh :)

So, my pictures won't be amazing most of the time and probably off just my phone. And the stories might be boring or gross or redundant. But they are my stories and stories I want to remember one day. The chaos can gobble you up but if one can take the time to see what is really there - it is pretty amazing after all.

But right now, I'm going back to sleep cause well I need it at the moment ;)

Mar 23, 2012

Here we go

I know buddy, I feel ya. . .

Mommy was offered at job this week. This is really exciting but also really scary. I have worked for the past 2 1/2 years to get to this position. All those days at the library and Starbucks have finally paid off. And I worked my butt off to get here. This is a new career for me so I am excited to get in and learn the real ropes. The position I was offered is amazing, the one I have been dreaming and yearning for since I began the program. But still, I'm sad.

I'm sad because that means our time together is limited. I knew even when we started to talk about bringing you into our lives, that I would have to work and not get to stay home. It is part of the reason why I went into the field I did at a later stage in life, so I could have the flexibility to be home with you a good part of the day. But I still want to be with you all the time, not just part of the day. I want to be there when every first happens, when every boo boo happens, when every new food and word is learned. I have loved watching you change and grow so much already in your 3 1/2 months.

I need to appreciate the time we do have together. Even those times when you are screaming at me and I am tired. I am very lucky that I don't start work till July so we have a ton of time left. I know it will go oh so fast. For now, Mommy is going to work hard to enjoy every single day with you and keep them exciting and adventurous.

There is still a lot to figure out going forward - like what my shifts are and if/when we need extra care for you. Plus, where are we going to find that care. I have faith that the pieces will fall into place just as they have already.

Just know, when I do go to work - I will miss you so so much. It makes me tear up just thinking about it now. I will ball my eyes out on the first couple days. Daddy and I are doing this to make a better life for all of us. This hopefully means our own home and in the future fun vacations - stuff like that. My career will hopefully give you a reason to be proud that I am your mom, because I am out there giving back to society in my small way. I just want to be the best mom I can for you.

I love you lil man - even when you drool all over me all day long :)

Mar 20, 2012

Most amazing thing ever

I really can't come up with the words to explain how awesome it was to witness this. Only that it completely melted my heart. It happen yesterday (3/19) while Matt was messing around trying to Cameron to take a short nap. I have watched this over and over again - each time I just want to cry with joy. So, for everyone's enjoyment:

Cameron's first laugh!!!

Mar 19, 2012

Running - day 1

My body has not bounced back as fast or as easily as I would have wanted to. Even with BF I have plateaued after losing 20 lbs since birth. But I really am not complaining because I haven't done anything at all for physical activity since getting in crazy shape for my wedding.

This is a couple weeks after our wedding. We are with Matt's godson Quinn at his baptism.

This is me about a month before birth (tailgating at a UConn football game - with my little brother Sam):

Ya, I would love to have that wedding body back now (like right now please!!!)

So, my friend Stephanie suggested Couch-to-5K program. She used it and has been running lots of 5K's lately. She just did one this past Sunday in Hartford with her husband. (Yea Steph and Barn!!!) I ran a bit to get into shape for my big day so I know running will do wonders for my body and fast. I just truly truly hate running. I have never developed much of an endurance for it. Even when I had 10 dance classes a week and was dancing constantly - I still could never handle running. Well, this program is suppose to be the right fit for someone like me. Someone who can't stand running.

Today, is my first day trying it. What is nice, my husband Matt is along for the ride too. We did day one of the recommended schedule. And let me tell you - it was brutal.

But I did it and ran/walked for 25 minutes at 60 to 90 second intervals. My knees hurt, I am tired and still feel a bit winded. But I am told this will get better as I go. Oh, there is also another fun problem I came across with running after pregnancy but more on that later. And I will do it again on Wednesday. Not looking forward to that at all.

On another note:

To each post I am going to add a dinner tonight section. I am always trying to come up with ideas for dinner so I thought it I start writing them down maybe I get more creative with what we eat and get some new ideas.

Dinner tonight: Chili cheese dogs (grilled) with french fries and baked beans - timeless for a beautiful day like today

Our Week by Droid - week 1

I have been following Amy over at A Good Life since probably sometime early in my pregnancy. There are many baby blogs I like to keep up with but Amy's is one of my favorites. Her family has always felt a lot like my own: young couple getting by, having fun and enjoying what the future has ahead. I am really excited for her that she is pregnant with #2 and look forward to following her pregnancy.

From her blog, I have thought it would be fun to follow her idea of Our Week by IPhone (except I have a Droid so it is Our Week by Droid) To me it is a good way to keep up with what I accomplished/did the past week and keep people in the loop.

So here is our week last week:

Monday was pretty lazy. Hung around the house mostly, probably did laundry. The only exciting thing was there was a new camera app on sale for 25 cents at the droid market so Matt and I spent bath time taking funky photos of Cameron

Tuesday I had to go up to UConn to meet with Career Services and have them touch up my resume and cover letter - yes I am actually trying to look for a job (kinda sorta) It was beautiful on campus and quiet with the students on Spring Break. We met up with my friend Kim for lunch. I finally got a picture of Cameron with Jonathan the Husky Dog :)

Wednesday was baby gym day at MyGym. We have a lot of fun there and it is great to spend time with other babies the same age. Blurry photos cause Cameron wouldn't sit still for me.

Wednesday night we had dinner at my mom's and Cameron got to spend some time with his grandma :)

Thursday was another lazy day - the only photo during the day is of Cameron looking all tough man - he does look super cute though! Also, Matt begged me to put Cameron in 'Cuse gear for the NCAA tourney game that afternoon. Of course Syracuse won and sadly our Huskies lost later that night (who Cameron is and will be a true fan of)

Friday we met up with Kim, her mom and her niece Hannah to do some shopping at Evergreen Mall and hit up Target. Cam is not the biggest fan of mommy trying on some clothes or waiting in line at check out.

This was our weekend. We cleaned and hung out. Not too crazy. We spent our St. Patty's day watching basketball and making some food. We made a smaller version of this very yummy Mediterranean Dip along with some sweet and sour meatballs and potato skins. You can see how much Cam is into St. Patty's day. It is very different from the years before of drinking green beer all day. But I really enjoyed spending time with my now little family.